“I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.” — George Best

“The best advice on touring I ever got came from the publisher of my children’s mystery books . . . Very simple advice. She said, ‘Use the minibar.’” — Peter Abrahams

“He was the kind of drunk whose wits accumulate as the spirit level rises.” — Declan Hughes, The Price of Blood

“We had all the drinks. Dublin town ran out of drinks. And you said you had the last of the drinks back here.” — Dave Donnelly in Declan Hughes’s The Price of Blood

“I don’t know about Tommy’s, but mine tasted like the first pint God made.” — Declan Hughes, The Price of Blood

“Amateurs want the weekend to keep going on Sunday. Monday is pro’s night, real terminal cases.” — Ed Loy in Declan Hughes’s The Price of Blood

“Everyone knows writers are all badly-dressed overweight cantankerous faux-humble alcoholics with a chip on each shoulder and a grudge against the world. And that’s just the women.” — Jackie Tyrell in Declan Hughes’s The Price of Blood

“Martinis are like breasts, one isn’t enough, and three is too many.” — Herb Caen

“There’s no vodka drink that can’t be made better by using gin instead.” — Eric Felten

“You cannot drink and drive and I have chosen.” — Serge Gainsbourg