Archive for the ‘Shaken & Stirred’ Category

Another Colony Lost

Tuesday, September 9th, 2008

Small wonder one finds oneself drinking more and more at home, given governments’ general hostility toward the constituents of a proper boozer. The Colony Room will soon be shuttered.

‘I see it as my living room, and my only real goal is to send people away happier than when they came in. The drink helps. But it is today so, so difficult. Paperwork and petty laws. It takes great skill to make Soho not Soho, but they’re doing a hell of a job.’

Evolutionary Shortcomings among Pinnipeds

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008

Biologists report that the walrus, while possessing a highly developed sense of humor, suffers from an insufficiently evolved palate.

DEWAR’S 18-YEAR-OLD FOUNDERS RESERVE, BLENDED

All right, guys, keep in mind that I’m new to this. I taste… fruit. Berries, maybe — or grapes. Oh, and it’s also sort of peppery, but then there’s this sweet and sour taste underneath. And — whoa — now my throat is burning. God, it really hurts. How’s this: a Dr-Pepper-and-Chinese-takeout smoothie, and also I’m a sword swallower who just swallowed a sword but screwed it up somehow.

A Wake without Booze

Sunday, February 24th, 2008

The irascible Jack Shafer writes in praise of booze in the newsroom.

It’s easy to reduce all of what is wrong with American journalism to the near industrywide ban on booze in the newsroom. So I will.

Hear, hear!

Cars, Sidecars, and Bars

Sunday, January 6th, 2008

Had a perfectly horrible Sidecar on Saturday evening at a local called Fat Cat and was forced to drink beer for the remainder of the evening. At least they had the Belgians. Is a Sidecar–1/4 lemon, 1/2 oz. Triple Sec, 1 oz. brandy–really so difficult?

My Montana correspondent has forwarded some “Internet humour” making the rounds:

98% OF AMERICANS SAY “OH S***” BEFORE GOING IN THE DITCH ON A SLIPPERY ROAD.

THE OTHER 2% ARE FROM MONTANA AND THEY SAY, “HOLD MY
BEER AND WATCH THIS!”

I find this worrisome. Certainly my driver is never allowed to take a drink behind the wheel, as I wish to ensure the lowest possible odds of spilling my own drink.

Perhaps this has something to do with it.

Colbert Calls for Absinthetinence

Tuesday, October 30th, 2007

The conservative television journalist Stephen Colbert reports on absinthe’s dangers and asks the youth of America to join him in a pledge of abstinence from absinthe. I am, of course, concerned by any call for temperance, but given the substandard absinthe that is being peddled these days, I suppose that abstaining from it can’t do any harm.

A Tonic for Unsatisying Gin-and-Tonics

Sunday, September 9th, 2007

Jason Wilson is a man after my own heart. I don’t normally care to dirty my hands in the kitchen, but perhaps it’s time for that to change. I had thought that drinking would be enow to while away my golden years, but likely I would enjoy making the drinks as well.

Just Because You Can, Doesn’t Mean You Should

Tuesday, August 21st, 2007

Something called “Orange Slice Jello Shots.” I mean, really.

Temperance for Australia

Monday, July 30th, 2007

Apparently this is how they celebrate a birthday in Australia. Call me a crank, but I was quite honestly unsurprised by the nature of the injury. Though the moment before it took place painted an image I’ll not soon forget.

Reading and Drinking Do Mix

Tuesday, March 27th, 2007

When it came time to build a bar with which to better entertain their guests, these young fellows decided to hit the books.

Freshers Foul

Wednesday, March 7th, 2007

Binge drinking is as old as the very concept of higher education, but in my day, the porters made us clean up after ourselves.

Ian Herd, domestic bursar, said the incidents of vomit had occurred in the Michaelmas term, and confirmed the outside porters are vaccinated as a precaution.