Gins Genteel and God-Awful
My long-lasting bottle of gin has given up its last gin and tonic. If I drank this thirst-quenching summer drink more frequently, I’d undoubtedly have settled on a favorite brand by now. Rather than an indeterminate period of experimentation, however, I am turning to you. What are the middle-of-the-road gins (for party situations, say, when no one is paying attention anyway) and what are the top-shelf gins (when one is seeking quality over quantity)? Thank you for saving me browsing time in our local liquor store. — Lionel Mandrake
Young fellow, making recommendations as to liquor brands is an avenue fraught with peril. Much as I strive to establish the correct parameters within which you may drink and be civilized, our taste buds are unaccountably quirky creatures. One man’s ambrosia is another man’s urinal cake. However, I am here to offer opinions and so I shall. (My original, rather snarky catch-phrase for the site stated: “Don’t have an opinion? Don’t worry, I have plenty to spare.”)
My everyday gin is the bracing, high-octane Booth’s, which, though half-gallons are sold in plastic bottles (I do drink a bit more than you), won’t embarrass you even if poured into a martini. For special occasions, I break out Beefeater, or, if I’m entertaining landed gentry, Boodles. (For a simple mnemonic device, note that these all begin with the letter B; but avoid Boord’s unless you have a strong lemon on hand to cover the taste.) Please, for my sake, avoid Gordon’s, Seagram’s, and the execrable Tanqueray. The last always reminds me of the time I picked up the wrong plastic cup at a fraternity social and found myself chewing on a soggy dog-end.
You’ll note that my selections are not particularly “now” or “with it.” Gin was not invented yesterday and so I see no reason to sample a version that was. As a rule of thumb, avoid any liquor which has a hologram on the label or which appears to have been packaged in a bottle of after-shave. Let your palate — not price tag or impressive appearances — be your guide. (Of course, price may be an issue if you are an enthusiastic drinker of limited means, but be wary of any gin with the words “value” or “Kentucky” on the label.)
Though I’ve rambled on too long already, let me finally say that I take issue with your assertion that, at parties, “no one is paying attention anyway.” Your guests may appear to be uninterested, uneducated, or inebriated — but I am always watching.